Three to Get Ready?

Then why aren't I?

 

We went to meet with a factory for work today, which was a 2 1/2 hour car ride each way. The meeting went well; all of our excitement about our company was renewed and intensified. The drive, however, gave me a lot of time to think. And I realized, I'm not nearly as ready to go as I thought I was.

 

In all my excitement to go home I forgot that I would actually be leaving. It didn't hit me until today that I won't be here tomorrow. And I don't know when I'll be back again.

 

It's been so fun to be able to see China and experience some of the culture. I love seeing new things and visiting new places. But neat as it may be, it's just a place. We often say of new places "It's like a whole other world", which often times seems true. But in gazing out the car window at the passing green hills and distant mountains, I realized that it is indeed the same world. Maybe a different face, a different side, but the same world. The hills are covered in trees as opposed to dirt, and the mountains are drenched in green instead of snow; but they are still hills and they are still mountains. It's crazy; when I was home I thought of China as this distant, far-away land. Foreign and untouchable. Now that I'm here, it's China, another country with people living and learning; just like anywhere else. Wherever I go, there are people living and learning, each on their face of the world.

 

I realized that what makes leaving hard is the people I meet. I can leave a country with a wonderful experience, having seen world wonders and modern marvels. I'm not saying I don't miss the places I've been, each holds a special part of my heart. But the people... the family, Sylvie, Hannah, Grace, Jenny... They are the ones that make it difficult to leave. People become intertwined in your life in a way I feel that a place alone cannot. You come to know them and their stories; and to care about what happens in each. Once that happens, I think it eliminates the possibility of ever really being "ready" to leave.

 

To think that I'll be gone and miss the day to day trials and triumphs that shape their lives... it's a little disheartening. I'm going to miss them terribly. (By the way, that is a very strange expression). It was an amazing night to end on, though. With me and Denise talking and laughing in the kitchen like schoolgirls, having a mosquito massacre party with all of us (including Izzy and Josie) in the girls' room, finally getting some last minute pictures, and Josie and McKenna hanging out in my room until they couldn't even force themselves to stay awake. I couldn't have asked for anything more. (Except, maybe one more day).

 

I've come to love this family with my whole heart. They truly have become part of me. So I guess you could say I really did find myself in China...