I'm sure there are exceptions, but Panda Express and Dragon House don't even come close.
My first experience with authentic Chinese food was during my first week while visiting a factory. I went with two of the girls from the office to meet with the factory owner, who took us out to lunch to discuss business. Now if my description sounds like I was solely focused on the experience and zoned out to what was going on around me, it's because I was. They were all speaking Chinese, which was probably for the best because I had to focus most my attention on figuring out my meal.
We went to a restaurant near Don Xiang lake (you can pretend you have some idea where that is if you'd like). Actually, it was on the lake, dock-style. It was actually kind of neat, once you got past the fish and wet-dog smell. We walked past people making the bread, and avoided stepping on the small dogs running around. (Which now that I think about it is a little disconcerting that there were dogs running around where they made the food...) We were led to an individual room for just our party, and seated around a large circular table with a giant lazy sue (susan? suzy?) in the middle. No one asked my input, so I figured they ordered for me. I sat patiently waiting, hands folded (and fingers crossed).
When they brought out the food, it was clear why I didn't have to order. Everything is shared. They load up the lazy susan and you just spin it around to get what you want. No scooping up a serving on your plate, you just pick up a bite straight off the dish with your chopsticks. The plates did come in handy, though, for the fish bones and and anything else you may not want to swallow. And there was plenty to choose from. They brought out dish after dish after dish. I thought that was it, but then there was round two; dish after dish after dish. And then round three. Funny thing was, despite everything to choose from...it was slim pickings for the things that were appetizing. We had duck, chicken, fish, and vegetables. Sound good? The duck and chicken was served cold. I didn't recognize a single one of the vegetables. And the fish...was a fish. Full out on a rectangle plate. Head, eyes, fins, and scales. And bones. Lots and lots of bones. There fish soup as well as a fish tail dish. Fish was the specialty, given we were on a lake and all.
I impressed myself by trying everything, and impressed them with my ability to pick up a peanut with my chopsticks. (Thanks Dad!) Though, I did have to have a little help serving myself the fish. They were very polite in always letting me serve myself first, but they didn't understand that I needed to watch them first to figure out how! Apparently fish meat slides right off the bone (the larger bones at least), which unfortunately also makes it very difficult to hold in chopsticks. I had a fish staring at me, taunting me really, because I had no clue how to go about eating him. He got it in the end though, as it looked like a bird had picked him over by the time we were done. Karma, fish...Karma.
I tried everything though, some fairly good, others took a little choking. But in the end I was full, and apparently the business went well. To my good fortune, my food experiences have only gotten better... but more on that tomorrow. Time for bed now...
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